Here’s a list of questions I’m too embarrassed to ask in public but just dumb enough I’ll post on the internet. Answering life’s toughest questions like “how to food” and “is it safe to buy advil from Mexico.”
May 12: “does butter have carbs” –Surprisingly no, no carbs in butter.
May 7: “baby its 3 a.m. and I must be lonely” –Looks like I was looking for the Matchbox 20 song…
May 3: “a nation’s pride (1944)” –A fictional movie from the movie Inglorious Bastards.
April 3: “how many days in April” –Appropriately asked on April 3.
March 27: “mens book club near me” –This one wasn’t my idea…
March 24: “when guys brunch” –I don’t remember what was going on here… I do like brunch though.
March 21: “suddenly i don’t feel so insecure” –Strange I know but it’s a Sum 41 song.
March 21: “why do we have social security” –Mainly to decrease poverty for the elderly and protect people from poor financial investments.
March 19: “urban dictionary keeping it real” Find out what happens when keeping it real goes wrong here.
March 17: “fake news” –Lots of news about fake news.
March 14: “is charles schwab a bank” –I think so but the fact that I had to ask that question means I probably shouldn’t be using them.
March 12: “Can I spray paint beer bottles?” –Yes its generally safe if you ever have the need, just don’t get paint near the cap.
I already know your first thought… Brittany (your girlfriend) is going to kill you! Probably true but I did it anyways. Over the past month, I kept track of every direct cost of having a girlfriend.
May 1: Britt bought ice cream for me. Cost: $3.5. Running total: -$3.50 (dollars to have a girlfriend each month).
May 4: Britt bought me an expensive cocktail at Calavera. Cost: $10. Running total: -$13.50.
May 8: I bought ice cream. Cost: $3.50. Running total: -$10.
May $19: I bought a round of drinks at Top O. Cost: $6. Running total: -$4.
May 20: Erin (my sister) gave me tickets to a Brad Paisely concert. Cost: free! We went to dinner beforehand at the Loop. Cost: $9.50. Running total: $5.50.
May 23: Dinner at Imbibe, I had a gift card so it was basically free. Don’t go here for food though… 1 star.
May 31: So this one’s on me. I really wanted to go to a Green Day concert and I think the only way I could convince anyone to go with me was if I buy a ticket for Britt. Cost: $65. Running total: $70.50.
This isn’t a perfect sample size but here’s the verdict; $70.50 per month to have a girlfriend (which I think is actually one of the lightest months to date). In other words, $846 per year or $56,682 per lifetime but who’s counting.
Maybe this is just the Boy Scout in me but everyone should keep these things in their car. I can’t guarantee the save your life part but you’ll be dry when it rains, have light when it’s dark, and your swimsuit when it’s time to party.
First-Aid Kit- I bought one from Walmart for $5 and added a few things to it.
Flashlight- A close #2… Keep it in your glove box.
Rain jacket/umbrella- If this were a bingo game this would be the free space.
Cash- $20 should be fine. I stashed it in the first-aide kit so I don’t end up spending it on beer (but you could if you needed to).
Duct Tape- For literally everything else.
Warm Jacket- It gets cold, even in the summer.
Change of clothes- Mainly in case I ever spill coffee on me at work.
Swimsuit- This is the slightly more convenient part ^^^
Lighter- I don’t smoke, I just occasionally need to burn things.
Cell phone charger- Assuming most people already have one anyway.
***BONUS POINTS: Don’t forget to check the air pressure in your spare tire, they do go flat!!